Lingering Words

I am in the second to last week study by Lysa Terkeurst called Unglued. It has been a phenomenal study for my sister and I. Each week I have challenged to change my reactions based on a biblical reality rather than my own raw emotions.

This week the challenge is to empty yourself of the damaging labels you have made for yourself and replace them with lingering words. In other words, how do I want to be known. I am still in the process of narrowing down a couple of my other categories but one I have definitely decided on is thankful. I want to be known as a woman with a thankful heart. I want to be thankful in the midst of plenty and little. I find myself so often listing all the things that I wish I could have, or change, or do. I am emptying myself of that label "never fulfilled" and replacing it with thankful.

Yesterday I prayed that God would begin to work on my heart to be filled with thanks. I challenged myself that one time during this week when I was faced with a situation that angered me I would find time to first Thank Him. Two hours later, I am running in the beautiful sunshine and loving the 80+ degree weather. I made the halfway turn and was pushing my double stroller up a hill that always makes a good challenge. This hill runs right alongside a golf cart path in my neighborhood and I came upon 4 older gentlemen driving to their next hole. The first cartful waved and gave me a little motivation for running while the second came with a comment. "You need to get your boys some sunglasses." Now, in this moment all I wanted to do was turn around and tell that gentlemen that I offered them to my son and he refused to wear them while my eight month old would just eat them so none of this was my fault. I didn't neglect my children's needs, I am a good mom, etc. Basically, I had an unglued moment within myself! I made it about another 1/2 mile and all this internal demeaning chatter in my head just overcame me and I stopped running. Along came a rush of another set of thoughts... "You can't even finish a 3 mile run. How do you ever expect to be prepared for a 10k in a month and half?" All these are lies that I can quickly let myself get trapped in if I don't look to Jesus first.

Right there in the middle of the sidewalk this little voice in my head said "Did you mean it? Will you be thankful in the midst of anger?" I stopped walking and just aloud started spewing off all the things I was thankful for. It started with the things I can always find easily. Thank you for the beautiful sky, the warm sunshine, my wonderful sons and husband. In the middle of all this Levi says "Mommy, are you still going to run and stop talking?" I laughed and told him that I would walk but he would have to listen to all the things I was thankful for right now. I even got to the point that I thanked God for the gentleman who had concern for my children's eye safety. I was not saying this mockingly, I really did and do mean it! God gave me the grace to have my heart turned around 2 hours after I resolved to become a thankful woman. Wow!

I pray he gives me more opportunities to show my thankful heart. I want people to hear the name Alex and think she is so thankful. I have a long way to go but I am making imperfect progress!

 

How could I not be thankful for this goofball? My little lunar boy or as I was calling him my looney boy:)