Sunday, August 18, 2013

My cultivation process

My life is full of exciting new things but with that comes a cultivation process that I cannot say I enjoy. I looked up a couple of definitions of cultivation and this is what I found:
  • preparation of land or growing crops: the planting, growing, and harvesting of crops or plants, or the preparation of land for this purpose
  • improvement: improvement or development, especially through study or education

  • As I read both definitions, I think they explain the process of working/learning in order to reap a harvest in the future. This means hard work! I started a new job (3 year old pre-school teacher 3 half days a week) and have some new item contract writing work (This is something I have done on and off for 3 years but there has been a lull in work for quite some time until the past month.) Combining these things with being a mostly stay-at-home mom has thrown me a major learning curve. I struggle balancing part-time work. If you know me well, you know that I like to plan, execute, and follow a plan the whole way through. I have many things remaining to set up in my classroom and more importantly, want to maintain a balance that allows me to be a mother above teacher. My friends who have done this; I give you a HUGE pat on the back.

    The bigger part of my cultivation process is happening within me. In the past several months I have really felt a call on my life to love and serve my neighbors and community within Raleigh. Matt and I started a new community in which our mission is to get out group members to start acting as the hands and feet of Jesus. This Friday we are going to be leading Children's Chapel at the Raleigh Rescue Mission. It has been challenging to find the right place for us to serve because we are a small group of people with children so I am so excited to see how this will work out!

    In the midst of all these new things, we had to "invest" (I do use that term loosely!) money in our van as well. As I was rushing around trying to fit everything in and "do" all the right things, I realized I had left God out of most of it. As I spend time today in rest and reflection, I realize that God has no interest in seeing me rush around. The number of things I do does not glorify him more. He cares about the people I meet along the way. I need to invest in them with my time and posture of love.

    Last Saturday, we celebrated my little guys first birthday. Even before we knew he was a boy, I loved the name Asher. I chose this because it means blessing. His little life has been such a blessing. Every day since we found out he was a boy, I prayed that God would use his life to bless others. Little did I know that God was cultivating a heart of service in MY life by praying this for my son. I realized, how can I expect this little boy to understand how to be a blessing if I don't teach him this myself. I thank God for his life and the little repeated prayer that has changed our lives forever. We appropriately celebrated his birthday by collecting donations for the Boys and Girls Club. Asher, even at 1, is using his life to bless others in the name of Christ.

    As you can probably tell by the random trailings in my blog, I have a lot on my mind and heart. My prayer as I start this week anew is that I take time to cultivate without trying to rush ahead to an early/weak harvest. I pray that I will take the time to have a posture of love in the midst of new stresses.